Tag: Prayer
Ep.333: Jars of Clay.
Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.
The laminate tiles on our kitchen floor are full of dents and gouges from dropped knives and pans. I repair the damage with porcelain paint or colored wood filler.
Steel knives and kitchen scissors survive falling to the floor. But ceramic plates explode and send shards jetting all over the kitchen.
Which reminds me of 2 Corinthians 4, where Paul says:
God . . . has shone in our hearts
to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay” (vv. 6-7).
Our bodies, these fragile jars of clay, made from the dust the earth, are so easily damaged. They age and fall on the floor and shatter. I don’t store my valuable stuff in flimsy clay containers. I keep it under my mattress.
So why does God store his valuables in breakable jars?
Paul explains ,
We have this treasure in jars of clay
to show that the power
is from God
and not from us (2 Cor 4:7).
I think this means God wants to preserve his reputation as the strong one, and my reputation as the weak ones. So he puts his strong message of salvation in these breakable, disposable jars.
Paul continues his description:
We are hard pressed on every side
but not crushed;
perplexed,
but not in despair;
persecuted,
but not abandoned;
struck down,
but not destroyed (2 Cor 4:8-9).
Struck down, but not destroyed? Like the bowl that took a dive off the counter and bounced instead of breaking to smithereens. But it was a close call.
Perplexed, but not in despair? Yes. What am I to make of life and cancer and climate change and war and church and politics? It’s all rather perplexing, as we hold it together in these jars of clay.
Let’s pray.
Our father, you made Adam from dust and loaned him your breath.
We sons and daughters of Adam are jars of clay, brittle and cracked. But you shine the light of your gospel in us.
O Father, we feel the weakness of these jars. We are hard pressed on every side, perplexed, struck down. May the light of your gospel shine through the cracks. May the grace of Christ escape into the world. May the plainness of the jar reveal the glory of the gospel.
Amen.
I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.
YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube
Ep.332: Experiential Religion. Podcast.
Ep.332: Experiential Religion.
Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.
I find the New Testament book of 1 John both comforting and discomforting.
It says “God is love”—a comforting thought.
And it says “God is light”—a disturbing thought. I’m not sure I want this searchlight focused on me.
Let’s start where John starts.
That which was from the beginning,
which we have heard,
which we have seen with our eyes. . .
and our hands have touched,
this we proclaim about the word of life (1 John 1:1-2).
John’s religion was based on his experience. He heard and saw and touched Jesus. He wants to draw us into his experience with Christ. We can’t touch and hear and see Jesus, but we can share John’s experience of Christ who lives in us by his Spirit.
In chapter 1, John describes this experience as truth, light, cleansing, fellowship, and joy. Quite a list.
Here’s my summary of what John is saying.
God is good, you are bad.
God is light, you live in darkness.
If you acknowledge your badness and darkness,
God forgives and invites you into his goodness and light.
So don’t be a poser, pretending you’re better than you are.
Instead be a confesser.
Shine the searchlight on yourself,
tell the truth about your sins.
Then you can step into a Christian community, a fellowship of truth and joy.
It’s a wonderful vision of Christianity.
As John says,
If we walk in the light
as God is in the light,
we have fellowship with one another,
and the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin (1 John 1:9).
Let’s pray.
Our father, too often I find myself slogging through the spiritual life, wondering where I missed John’s glorious vision of light, truth, joy, and fellowship.
Shine your light on me, exchanging darkness for light. Help me trade my self-serving worldview for your truth. Help me abandon my isolation for the fellowship of your family.
Make my way like the dawn that gets brighter and brighter, until the full light of day (Prov 4:18).
Amen.
I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.
YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube
Ep.331: Lessons Learned? Podcast.
Ep.331: Lessons Learned?
Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.
You may ask what I learned from my journey with cancer and chemo. My heartful reply is, “Life is confusing. I’m never sure what I’m learning.”
Perhaps Pete Seeger was thinking of me in Where Have All the Flowers Gone when he sang:
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
However, since I do reflect on my life and my experiences, here are some thoughts.
First, life is fragile and uncertain. I was physically healthy for 68 years, until cancer swept that away and introduced me to surgery and hospital stays and chemo-sickness. It doesn’t take much to land me in pain and helplessness.
My health is better this spring, but age now speaks to me in aching muscles. And creaky bones. And a forgetful mind.
Moses said, “The length of our days is 70 years, or 80 if we have the strength. Yet their span is but trouble and sorrow for they quickly pass and we fly away” (Ps 90:10). I often think about flying away.
A second lesson. My faith is in God, not in the medical system. The psalmist said, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the Lord our God” (Ps 20:7).
Yes, some trust medicine and some natural remedies, but I trust in God who watches over life and death. Last November in the hospital with chemo-caused sickness, the medical profession didn’t understand what was wrong with me. My comfort was the beauty of cold winter sunrises in hospital windows, and the Spirit’s witness that God was looking out for me.
My third lesson is endurance. Paul said, “We rejoice in our trials because we know that trials produce endurance” (Ro 5:3). I didn’t rejoice my way through chemo. But I endured it. I was miserable and fatigued, but I tried not to dump my misery on those around me, because God was teaching me Endurance 101. If I have passed that course, maybe I’m ready for Endurance 201. I think I’d prefer a lighter course. Does God offer basket weaving?
A fourth lesson is community. I’ve always been very private, but the Spirit prompted me to invite my community to journey with me. So I published a newsletter, posted on Facebook, and welcomed family and friends and visitors. During that chemo winter, I lost my spiritual disciplines—prayer and scripture and dog-walking. But the prayers and encouragement of the community supported me in some way I don’t understand.
Let’s pray.
O Father, I don’t look forward to Endurance 201. But I do look forward to the day I will fly away.
Thank you for lessons in endurance and community, for those who shared your love with me through the worst of my cancer winter.
Life is a mystery. Science studies it and doctors heal it, but no one really understands it.
Because life is your gift to us. You walk with us through the mystery we live on earth, into the mystery of eternity.
Teach me to walk with grace and patience and humor.
Amen.
I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.
YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube
Ep.330: Cancer, Chemo, COVID, and Wildfires. Podcast.
Ep.330: Cancer, Chemo, COVID, and Wildfires.
Ep.330: Cancer, Chemo, COVID, and Wildfires.
Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.
The effects of my chemotherapy were just wearing off when I got . . . COVID.
Chemo and COVID, not exactly a marriage made in heaven. One evening when my COVID fever crept beyond 39 degrees Celsius, I checked myself into Emergency. They poked and prodded and took statements and extracted blood. Finally, they sent me home at 2:00 a.m. saying, “Come back if your breathing gets difficult and painful.”
After a restless sleep, I phoned the COVID hotline. A doctor prescribed the new COVID drug Paxlovid. Pills morning, pills evening, fatigue all the time! Oil-sludgy tasting tongue. Tingling feet. It was like chemo all over again. But only for five days. Small mercies?
Paxlovid didn’t kill or heal my COVID, it just slowed it down while my body built immunity. When I finished my pills, I got a COVID hacking cough and runny nose. My taste buds quit working, an improvement on the sludge, but not an outcome that made me happy.
A week later my home test kit declared me COVID-free. My taste buds and sense of smell started to recover—just in time to experience the smoke-filled air of Alberta wildfire season. A record 23 out-of-control wildfires burned thousands of square kilometers, creating 20,000 refugees.
Edmonton air quality, normally one or two on a scale of ten, jumped beyond ten. My winter of sickness progressed into a spring of smoke-filled air.
Let’s pray.
Our father, my tomato seeds grew stems with smooth, generic leaves, and then replaced them with pointy tomato leaves.
My life is at the generic stage. In the dark soil of cancer and chemo and COVID, bits of your word germinated and grew timidly into the smokey air of my life. My garden has produced weak stems and immature leaves.
What plants are you growing here, as you dirty your hands in the soil of my life? Are you breathing my smokey air and tending the tender plants?
Paul said, in all things for the good of those who love you. May my heart respond to your love. May my life mature in your care. Bring your seedlings to a rich harvest.
Amen.
I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.
YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube
Ep.329: Chemo, Part 2. Podcast.
Ep.329: Chemo, Part 2.
Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.
My first round of chemo for colon cancer landed me in the hospital with a broken digestive system. Two weeks later and twenty pounds lighter, they sent me home. My digestion wasn’t back to normal, but it was usable.
My oncologist summoned me back to the cancer clinic to discuss resuming chemo.
I said, “I don’t want to repeat that experience.”
He said, “We don’t want you to repeat it either.”
So we agreed on a second round of chemo at a 60% dose, starting after Christmas.
On December 28, they gave me a two-hour intravenous drip of chemo meds, and sent me home with two weeks of chemo pills. Happy New Year, Daniel!
I resumed my familiar routine: Omelet and pills in the morning, chemo pills for dessert after dinner. After two weeks, my digestion was out of order again, so I prescribed my own solution: an easy-to-digest, mostly liquid diet, while my body tried to flush out chemo meds.
My wife added popsicles to my recovery diet. Omelet for breakfast, popsicles for lunch, canned peaches with yogurt for dinner. The Michelin restaurant reviewers did not drop by to review my culinary adventures.
The cancer clinic sampled my blood for a third round of chemo, and sent me home because my white blood cell count was low. The next week, my cells achieved the minimum passing grade. Yay . . .
This time, they added a growth hormone to the mix, and prescribed a syringe to self-inject it on my third day of chemo pills.
The doctor said, “This encourages your bone marrow to produce more white cells. You might get growing pains–achy bones and muscles–like when you were growing up.”
I have always wanted to grow up, but injecting myself with growth hormones didn’t make it happen. Instead, it made me ache all over. Miserable and fatigued, I spent a weekend sleeping unhappily on the couch.
When round three ended, I restocked my popsicles for another round of digestive recovery. The good news was, my bone marrow responded to the popsicles and growth hormones, creating enough white cells to start round four of chemo on schedule. One last infusion of intravenous meds. Two final weeks of chemo breakfasts and desserts. One last self-injected syringe of growth hormones.
On March 1, I finished chemo. At last my body would have an opportunity to eliminate the poisons that persisted and the meds that lingered. Was the end in sight for abnormally dry hands, tingling feet, treacherous digestion, and endless fatigue?
Now, nearing the end of April, I eat almost normally. My hands and feet have improved. I still fatigue easily. And I am re-integrating into society.
My first Sunday back at church I said to my friends, “The doctor cleared me to re-enter civilized society.”
Let’s pray.
Our father, my chemo companions were the Bible and Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment and our dog, Wall-E. The dog shared my long cold chemo winter. The Bible promised that endurance produces character. Dostoevsky held out hope that even the worst of us can find new life.
Thank you that I have finished chemo. Thank you for the family that supported me and the church that prayed for me and the Christ who lives in me and the Easter story that shifs my focus from death to life.
O father, clear out the poisons in my life. The remnants of chemo meds and the sin that so easily entangles me (Heb 12:3).
As Paul said, “Let us celebrate the resurrection, not with the old leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth” (1 Cor 5:8).
Amen.
I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.
YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube