Ep.328: Chemotherapy.

Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.

Eight weeks after my cancer surgery, the Cross Cancer Institute inEdmonton extracted blood to determine if I’d survive chemo. “You’re good to go,” said the doctor as he cleared me for intravenous medicine and chemo pills. 

On the first snowy Wednesday of winter, nurses sat me in a recliner, draped me with a warm blanket, and started my two-hour drip of chemo meds.

The nurse said, “We’re the lucky ones. We have a fourth-floor view out the window!” 

I said, “Can you turn my chair so I can enjoy it?” 

Couldn’t be done. The view I got was busy nurses completing forms and hooking patients to IV’s. Blood, paperwork, chemicals. That’s life in Chemo City! I fed my brain with Dostoevky’s Crime and Punishment while the IV meds attacked the evil inside me. 

Then they sent me home with two weeks of chemo pills. Four pills morning, four evening. Take them with food because they’re hard on the stomach.  

The oxalyplatin from the IV lingered in my body and made me cold-sensitive. At night I wore socks to bed. In the morning I needed gloves to get an egg from the fridge for my morning omelet. Two weeks of eggs and chemo pills for breakfast, two weeks of chemo-pill dessert after dinner. I hated those pills. They coated my taste buds with motor-oil sludge, they threw off my digestion, made my hands and feet desert dry, and I always felt wasted. 

As Lamentations says, 
   I remember my affliction. . .
      the bitterness and the gall (3:19). 

It also says,
    Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed.
      His mercies are new every morning (3:23). 

I thanked God for small mercies under the merciless regime of chemo. I thanked God for the gift of sleep on cold winter nights. For warm naps on cold winter afternoons. For the daily omelet. For the courage to follow it with the hated pills. And I was most thankful for the promise of a week-long break after two weeks of meds.

I finished the round of pills on a Wednesday and started my week off. But my digestion had other plans. The pills left me unable to eat, and barely able to drink. I toughed it out, miserable and dehydrated, until Saturday, waiting for things to improve.

They didn’t. So my family took me to emergency, where I was put on IV to rehydrate, and kept for two nights until a hospital bed was available, in a room with a man who had spent 40 unhappy days in the hospital after a stroke. 

They gave me a clear liquid diet, of which the mainstay was jello. Red jello. Yellow jello. Green jello. Like stop lights. I just wanted it to stop! I tried, but I just can’t handle that much jello. Chicken broth and beef broth were better, thank you! Orange juice in the morning, cranberry juice at noon, apple juice at dinner. My wife supplemented the hospital fare with homemade broths and juices.  

After a week they declared I could eat regular food and they sent me home. I celebrated with a package of Japanese noodle soup, which proved my digestion had not recovered after all. An ambulance collected me, burping green bile, for a midnight ride back to the hospital. 

They didn’t know what was blocking my plumbing and backing up the bile. A CT scan showed nothing. So they put me back on a liquid diet, this time in an isolation room with a view of Sister Mary Ann Casey Park. In the coldest week of November, I watched the winter sun rise every day through fog and smog. It was beautiful.

Somehow, the winter sun warmed my soul. I found gladness in the sunrises, joy in the wintery landscape, hopefulness in the care of friendly nurses, patience with the everlasting hunger, grace in a podcast of morning prayers, love in the care of my family. 

Let’s pray. 

Our father, I spent two weeks in the hospital. So did you. You were with me, my family cared for me, my church and friends prayed and visited. 

Who understands these gifts of your grace? 

O father, surprise me again today with the grace I need. May the sunrises of spring light my darkness. May patient endurance lead me to new hope and better character. I say with Paul, “I rejoice in my trials, because trials produce endurance; endurance produces character; character produces hope. And hope does not make ashamed because the love of God is poured out in our hearts” (Rom 5:3-5).  

Amen. 

I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.  

YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube

Ep.327: Cancer from the Inside Out.

Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.

On July 26 last year, waking up after a routine colonoscopy, I was surprised to see the doctor and my wife at my bedside. 

“We found a lesion on your colon, so I took a biopsy,” the doctor said. 

“A lesion?” I replied. “I have a high-stress personality, so it’s probably just an ulcer. No real surprise there. Will I have to give up spicy foods?” 

Dr. Switzer replied, “The biopsy will tell us.”  

On the way home I said to Pearl, “I like that she didn’t use the word ‘cancer’. I doubt the lesion is really serious.” 

Pearl, who reads people, said, “Wrong. Her manner shows she is treating this very seriously.” 

Guess who was right? The biopsy showed Invasive Adenocarcinoma. Carcinoma. That’s cancer. I had colon cancer.

When my younger brother got colon cancer in 2014, he had surgery and chemotherapy, but he died in nine months. I started counting months. Nine fingers took me to April 2023. I hoped for a different journey than my brother. 

In month 2 of my journey, on a sunny September day, my wife left me at the Grey Nuns Hospital. I had lived 68 years without seeing a surgeon’s knife, but my lucky streak was over. Stripped and gowned, my glasses and hearing aids in a hospital bag, I waited for my summons to surgery. 

The porter tucked me into a mobile hospital bed, wheeled me into a huge operating theater and transferred me to an operating table with large overhead lights. The surgeon introduced me to the anesthesiologist who mainlined anesthetic into my veins. I slept through the removal of a third of my colon, with associated blood vessels and lymph nodes.     

I spent three days and nights in the hospital, in a pea-soup fog of pain and medication and fatigue. 

The doctor told me to get mobile, so I escorted my intravenous pole up and down the hospital corridors. That IV pole was a poor substitute for the dog I prefer walking. 

Despite my fog and pain, the doctor declared I was adjusting well to my new life with surgery scars and a shorter colon. He sent me home on day three.

I felt like Lazarus walking out of his tomb into the spring sunshine where his sisters, friends, and Jesus welcomed him. 

Meanwhile, the surgeon had preserved my spare parts in a formalin solution and sent them off for study. The pathology report said two of my 25 lymph nodes tested positive for cancer. “We call that stage 3,” the doctor said. “The cancer has spread, but two affected lymph nodes are better than 15 or 20! The next step is chemotherapy. We don’t know where the cells have roamed, and we don’t have tools to track them, so we send in drugs to ferret them out.” 

The good news was: my cancer was diagnosed at an earlier stage than my brother’s. I retired my nine-finger counting obsession, and braced for chemo, scheduled six weeks after surgery.  

I had a fine sunny fall in the reprieve between surgery and chemo. I walked the dog in the bright sunshine, contemplating the goodness of life and healthcare and family. I dreaded the impending start of chemo. 

Let’s pray. 

Dear Jesus, Mary and Martha said to you, “If you had been here, our brother would not have died.” They trusted your healing skills, but resurrection was beyond their vision. 

I don’t know why you permit sickness. I don’t know why it sometimes leads to death, and sometimes is a valley that opens to new life.

But I thank you for doctors, for medicine, for healing by natural and surgical and chemical and spiritual means. 

Thank you for living in us, for sharing our brief and fragile lives, for telling us about hope and healing and death and resurrection. 

Be our companion in glad times and sad, through sunny days and nightmare nights. Teach us to trust you today and as we face the death that will soon come. 

Our times are in your hands (Ps 31:15). 

Amen. 

I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.  

YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube

Ep.326: Prison Prayers.

Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.

In Ephesians 6 Paul calls himself an ambassador for the gospel. To which capital city was he posted? And what residence did they provide? This ambassador was posted to Rome, and his residence was a prison.

As a prisoner wrote to the Ephesians, “Pray for me. . .that I may fearlessly make known the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains” (Eph 6:19-20).

I have wondered about Paul’s wisdom making the journey that landed him in jail. In every city he visited, the Holy Spirit warned him that’s exactly what would happen. Listen, and marvel, at his attitude: “My life is worth nothing to me; my aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me. . .” (Acts 20:24). Paul’s life was worth nothing to him? What is your life worth to you?

Paul heading obstinately for Jerusalem echoes Jesus who said, “I must press on today and tomorrow and the next day—for surely no prophet can die outside Jerusalem!” (Luke 13:34). 

What’s with these prophets, drawn irresistibly to Jerusalem to flirt with death and imprisonment? 

Paul’s stay in Jerusalem was eventful. The Jews accused him of temple sacrilege. When they tried to kill him, the Romans threw him in prison and spirited him away to Caesarea. Felix, the Roman governor of Caesarea, wanting to placate the Jews, kept Paul in prison for two years (Acts 24:27). 

Festus, who succeeded Felix, ordered a new trial for Paul, during which Paul appealed to Caesar. Festus’ friend King Agrippa, after reviewing the evidence against Paul, said, “This man could have been set free if he hadn’t appealed to Caesar” (Acts 26:32). So they sent Paul to Rome where he preached the gospel as a Roman prisoner under house arrest. 

Was it wise of Paul to go to Jerusalem despite the warnings? Was it helpful to accept Roman protection and appeal to Caesar? A modern life coach would probably have told Paul to set reasonable goals for his life and ministry. Perhaps Paul could have lived a quiet suburban life writing his memoirs. 

Let’s pray. 

Our father, few of us manage our lives the way life coaches recommend. And we who have tried the management advice soon descend into mismanagement and chaos. 

Scripture teaches that the cross was essential to Christ’s journey, and that you, God,  were Paul’s companion on the long road to Jerusalem and Rome. 

Take these wandering lives of ours. Give them meaning by the light of the gospel and the grace of your spirit. Be our life coach. Be our wisdom and righteousness (1 Cor 1:30).

Amen. 

I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.  

YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube

Ep.325: Battle Dress.

Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.

Ephesians 6 says, “Put on the full armor of God.” Reminds me of the Sunday school song,
    I may never march in the infantry, ride in the cavalry, shoot the artillery,
    But I’m in the Lord’s army. 

The battle dress Paul recommends is like a SWAT team uniform as they prepare to  storm a drug dealer’s urban fortress. Paul lists six pieces of armor: shoes, belt, vest, shield, helmet, and sword.

Here’s Paul’s description of these pieces.  

The armored boots of peace. Really? Do peaceful boots storm the house, break the door and shoot up the interior?  

The bullet-proof vest of . . . righteousness. A SWAT team wearing a righteous vest? 

The belt of truth. I hope the SWAT team has true intel about the drug house, but I want their belt to hold up their trousers, not provide insight into truth. 

A ballistic shield and a bullet proof helmet. Not accessories I would link to faith or salvation. 

And finally, the sword of the spirit which is the word of God. Swords are outdated, so our SWAT team uses assault rifles, tear gas, and tasers. 

Why does Paul use this vision of violence to outfit his Christian soldier? I have two observations. And a warning. 

Paul’s world was violent. He says, “Five times I was whipped, three times beaten with rods, once pelted with stones, and another time, shipwrecked” (2 Cor 11:24). 

Paul doesn’t blame the devil and his army for the violence, but he does say, “Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities, powers of this dark world, and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenlies” (Eph 6:11-12). The source of violence was not simply the Roman soldiers who imprisoned Paul and the Jewish elders who had him flogged. There is a larger picture of evil that includes an unseen hierarchy of invisible evil forces.

Jesus said, “The kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force” (Mat 11:12). Paul and Jesus both used metaphors of violence to describe the Christian’s place in a violent world. 

A second observation is that Paul’s instruction is not for us to form Christian SWAT teams and invade heavenly territories held by evil forces. Instead, he tells us to stand firm. Our armor, including the sword or assault rifle, does not prepare us for a conquest of enemy territory. It enables us to stand firm in the faith. 

Which leads to a warning. Some teachers and pray-ers try to map out the geography of darkness, name the hierarchies of evil and fight them. While this fits our SWAT team analogy, it goes beyond Paul’s instructions to stand firm in our armor. 

Let’s pray.  

Our father, today we put on the belt of truth. May it expose the lies of the liberal left and the conservative right, the lies of governments and industry, the lies of conspiracy theories, and the lies of the devil. 

Expose the falsehoods we hold dear because they help us simplify and cope with a complex world, a complex civilization, and our own complex emotional makeup. 

Many things we do not understand. But we trust you Jesus, who said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). Be our truth. Be our way. Be our life. 

Amen. 

I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.  

YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube

Ep.324: Slavery.

Ep.324: Slavery.

Hello, I’m Daniel Westfall on the channel “Pray With Me”.

In Ephesians 6, Paul says, “Slaves, obey your masters with respect and fear and sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.” And to masters he says, “Treat your slaves well, because their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.” (Eph 6:5,9). 

I make four comments on the Bible and slavery. 

First, Old Testament Hebrew slavery, New Testament Roman slavery, and American civil war slavery, each treated slaves in different ways, some better, some worse. Hebrew and Roman slaves had more rights than African slaves in America, but they too were subject to abuse. 

Second, John Murray, in his book on Christian ethics, says the Bible teaches that a slave’s labor belongs to his master, but the slave’s person belongs to God. The master forgets this at his peril. Paul warns the master, “You are a slave to God; treat your slaves the way God treats you” (Eph 5:19).

Third, I was a wage slave at Alberta Motor Association for a quarter century or so. For a third of each day, my time and labor belonged to AMA and I lived under the corporate threat that said, “You’re dispensable. Get along with people, be productive, and don’t complain, or we’ll fire you.” Sometimes when I was implementing bad decisions made by my masters, I was comforted by Paul’s words to slaves, “Work with your whole heart as working for the Lord. . . .For it is the Lord Christ you serve” (Col 3:24). 

Not mine to question why. Mine to serve wholeheartedly, and trust the outcome to my master Christ. And yet, I wish I had spoken up more about bad decisions. There was, and is, room for reason and discussion.

Fourth, the story of God freeing Hebrew slaves from Egypt and guiding them to the Promised Land informs much of the Old and New Testaments. It is a grand vision of an oppressed and enslaved people on a journey through desert and hunger and thirst and war to find a new place to live and new way to be. 

That’s us. Paul tells us we’re slaves to sin. And if we have courage to face the desert and the dryness and the warfare of a journey, God will bring us to a new place to live and a new way to be. 

Let’s pray. 

Our father, the prophet Micah painted a picture of peace and justice, saying:

Everyone will sit under their own vine
         and under their own fig tree,
and no one will make them afraid. . .  (Micah 4:4) 

Bring quickly that time when justice will rule the earth, when no one will threaten the poor with war and famine and theft, when assault rifles will supply steel for garden shovels, and tanks will be used as tractors. 

Meanwhile, teach us to be cheerful in our daily duties, as we serve others, and in them serve you. 

Amen. 

I’m Daniel, on the channel “Pray with Me”.  

YouTube channel: Pray with Me – YouTube